The Now and the Then

I wish that I'd picked those wild flowers
That grow beside the road
And sat
On the hood of my car
At least once more
To watch
As the yellow sunset
Slowly dipped under my view
Why am I so stubborn
So selfish
That I couldn't make myself
Think about the now more
And the future less
I used to wish for
That picture perfect
Normal
Life
Because my life wasn't
But now
I don't know why
For now I know that's not right
I want a future filled with laughter
And odd, quirky memories
To put me to sleep
And then
And only then
Will I be able to smile
A real smile
In the arms of my love
No matter who
Or what
They are
For that's my future
But now
Is the now
And I am writing this
On the hood of my Bronco
As I watch the gentle stars
Fall from their old places in the sky
So that they too can move on
From what they were supposed
To be

-Apple

Stand Up

We must all unify as members of the genus Homo

Especially of the species H. sapiens

That's what all humans are

So why is there always that one man

Who are they judging

This world was made for all

Not just those

Who think they’re more deserving or powerful

Than the rest

For there is neither Jew nor Greek

There is neither slave nor free

There is no male or female

For you are all one

As our sixteenth said

Four score and seven years ago

Our fathers brought forth on this continent

A new nation

Conceived in liberty

And dedicated to the proposition

That all men are created equal

At last it is time

It is time to walk

Hand in hand

For it matters not

Who or what you are

Or who you claim to be

How is it

That the world can not see

It is time to rise from discrimination

And blind our eyes

For color

And race

So that the sons of the rich

And the sons of the poor

Shall be together at last

With those of former slaves and owners

That will be the day

When the sky turns to blood

And bleeds on those who cried

“We don’t serve your kind!”

Every person out there is unwilling to change

No matter what they say

Or who they fool

We all think we’re getting closer to our destination

To our dream

That we’ve travelled for so far

We must stand and yell

Let freedom ring

So we can follow our King

-Apple

Music

Before there was music

There was silence

Boredom

Loneliness

People would sit around

And think

Their robot thoughts

Then there was

The thing presided over by the Muses

The melody that fills your ears

When you walk alone in the streets

The corner stone of society

That opens one’s soul

And enriches you

While being your entertainment

And passion

Music is able to fill you with that special memory

Your personal experience

For good or bad

While it takes you along the road of life

Inspiration

Energy

Enrichment

Music

-Apple

Looking Back at my Life

My fingers claw
Through the velvet and soil
Trying to escape out of the dirt
That seemed to
Have fallen over my body and soul
Burying me deeply in a dark grave
As I kneel on the ground
Remembering why I was down there
And how I'd dug the blade
Deep in
The crimson dripping
Onto the floor
Tears formed rivers down my face
As the pain that held me down most my life
Told me
You mean so little
The world would be a better place
If you...
I had tried to break a cycle
Of sorry and misery
But every time
It always had to rain
Just once more
I had to see what it was like
Without me
The door creaked open
As I stepped
Into my past
The life I'd left
For I had to see it one last time
Before I left forever
So I took the step
That was once a welcoming threshold
Disbelief filled me
Like a thousand shards of glass
How could everything
Have changed so much
From the last time
I looked around the room
It cannot be
I search around the chilled room
For his warm gaze
Yet
He was already gone
And all of his things
Missing
Except a broken picture of us
Laying on the floor
My old room was similar
I could almost see his kneeling
Over my bed
Tears streaking his face
As he had that day
That single tune dancing around the house
A single beat
Caught on the broken record
That sat on my old desk
The endlessly scratching needle
On the broken record
Repeating
The sad melody of my life
My hands shake
As I remember why I left
The record skips into a new song
How could you assume you mean so little
Why did you assume the world would be nicer
My unwilling knees bow
As I collapse upon them
Spewing tears
As the rain welcomes me once more
Into the city
Of the dead

-Apple

Human

A member of the genus Homo
Especially of the species H. sapiens
That's what a human is
In science
But does anyone really
Think beyond that
A human
Is someone at battle
Between the good
And the sin
They carry permanent scars
Because nothing is all beautiful
And they can fall apart
And lose everything
While still staying strong
They're unpredictable
Some wish to be invincible
While others sell their souls
They're imperfect
But who really cares
They live on
Just because they can't dream of anything else
A life without mortal pain
And sorrow
Their world is dark
And full of hate
Yet they keep living on
Through the pain
And the war
But all it takes
To break them
Is love to spark

-Apple

Hello

The room was filled
With people without faces
Just small talk
And forgetfulness
As we stand in a circle
Getting to know people is always hard
Should I lie
Or ruin everything and tell them about the real me
Then someone starts
Hello, my name is Remorse
Have we met
Only once or twice
Or every single day of my life
Hello, my name is Defeat
I know you recognize me
We used to play together
When we were younger
And when you thought you'd won
I'd kill you again
Hello, my name is Envy
Remember
I'm the one who always won
Always had this and that
You may not remember me
But I remember the look in you eyes
As you stared at my name
Hello, my name is Anger
Don't look at me like that
We're family after all
Yet
Why was it
That I
Was always better
And then it's my time
Hello, my name is...

-Apple

John

I could hear my rapid breath

As I lay awake in bed

Remembering the time I first gave up

For nothing happened to me anymore

I was told to tell the world my life

But as I said

Nothing ever happened to me

Then I met you

And when I finally jumped

You caught me
I was down

You picked me up
And when I crumbled

You taped me back together

You simply refused to say goodbye

And that’s when I realized

You loved me

So why?
When you looked down at me

With your unforgettable coat blowing around you

And your shoes inches off the edge

My face puffy and red

While painful tears stream down

You pressed the dreadful cell to your face

And you said those final words
I wanted so hard to places my shaking hands over my ears

Wishing I couldn't hear a single word you said

“I’m a fake” you told me

“Okay, shut up. Shut up” I replied

Goodbye

And with your arms stretched out wide

You didn’t fly

When I’d jumped

You’d caught me
When I was down

And picked me up
You taped me back together

When I crumpled
You'd loved me

So why did I hear

The crunching of your body breathing

And your dark blood pouring out more and more onto the ground around

Your final resting place

Everything stopped

At least it did for me

As I ran towards you

Even though the world seemed to be trying to stop me

From getting to you

My love

And only for seconds

I was allowed to stand

Over your cold body

When it was your turn to jump

I couldn't catch you
You were down

And I couldn't hold you

You crumbled

I had no tape
I thought you loved me…

But our time together will never end
For I have the feeling

That I will see you soon
And until then

I promise I won't forget
Your face

Forever embedded in my heart

-Apple

Remember that Day

Remember that day?

That one day?

Do you?

I do. 

I remember.

I remember it well. 

You told me

Just one thing,

One little story. 

But in that story,

There was so much pain.

So much misery. 

And I listened. 

I heard it all. 

And it wasn't easy for you,

I heard the sound of your voice. 

And I saw the look in your eyes. 

I knew it wasn't easy to tell. 

It wasn't at all. 

But there you were,

Spilling your secrets

Into my ears,

And into my heart,

And I will remember that moment forever. 

You did so much for me,

Telling that story. 

You showed me a part of your soul,

That part hidden from the world. 

And someday,

Maybe,

I can show you one of mine.

 

-Cleo

Where I'm From

I am from dead plants,

from sorrows,

pictures of the dead,

and long lost faces.

I am from the thick bark covering the tree

that makes avocados as dark

as the dying cactus by the shed.

I am from rotten fruit that piles up in the yard.

I’m from mirrors that look deep into your soul

and pale peeled paint.

From singing at the tick of midnight

and nights like fire.

From Nancy and David.

I’m from Cowboy and Traveler,

from “What’s cookin’.”

and from “London bridge is falling down”

and crashing to my knees.

I’m from the blood that dripped

from my mother’s finger onto the knife.

From the Iwo Jima black sand

and the spicy smell that floats from the pumpkin pies.

I’m from the sewing chair

filled with secrets and stories,

from which I cherish and hide.

I am from those moments-

sliding down into the cool Skaneateles Lake water towards my family and friends.

-Apple

Our Love

We lied to our parents
For they'd never understand
What we really are
For I can never die
No matter how much I try
And he can fly
Up into the sky
And he'd take me away
Away with him
Into a life of freedom
Where he can live a life
With me as his wife
And there isn't a knife
Stuck in us
Where we are stuck
With no luck
Of living normally
And forced to dress so formally
With fake smiles
And where I wear a purse from crocodiles
But some time next May
We will be free for one day
To fly away
Onto an empty bay
All day
And stay
To just play
Or perhaps we'd just spray
On the white sand
And I'll just hold his hand
If only that day was now
Only in a world like this, how?

-Apple

Same Love Comment

This song has amazing lyrics, and it reminds me of the poem To This Day.

Same Love

Sacred Land

Everything here

So full of life

Every tree

Every leaf

Every insect

It’s as if the world is vibrating

As if everything is much more than its self

-Merlin

The Time You Have (In JellyBeans)

Dream

Sleep is a place
Where you can dream about the things that you could be
But isn't yours yet
Even if isn't
You can still close your eyes
And dream
You could be sitting in a tree
With darkness washing over you
As you count the stars
Or your feet could feel the soft grass beneath you
Right before you jump
And not fall
You let your silvery wings be free
And open wide so you can fly
If you search for these with your eyes open
You won't find them
And I'm not going to lie to you
And say that you will always find your dreams
Because that's all they are
Dreams
You may be young
But your not that naive
It may feel so right
As you stretch your wings
And let the others be powerless for once
But that's what makes you want to fly
The knowledge that your the one
The one who is able to let the wind carry you away
Into the night
But even though I know that's not the way it is
I still fall asleep
And let the river take me down
It's every turn
Hope has four letters
And dream has five
Because the truth is
When you close your eyes
That's what makes you feel so alive

-Apple

Mistake

Fourteen years ago I was born
The eleventh child
To a full family
Who didn't wish to stop
Then there was me
No one ever told me being different
Ruins your life
The slightest change in your looks
Could change your future
I was unwanted
And I kept being
Tortured
And harassed
If you asked me
What do you remember
Pain
So much pain
The searing metal against my skin
Why did it happen to her
I was the poor girl who was isolated from the world
To me
That was just how life was
And I was the mistake
Even with my brothers and sisters around
I felt alone
I ran away at age five
A year later I changed my name
And hid from my past
Never looking back
I made a friend
A true friend
I even told her everything
About my past
And how it felt
She wasn't a true friend
And that's when I earned my nickname
Unwanted
And even now
I am haunted by it

Even though she didn't know
She was not the only one with a tough life
And a painful past
She was not alone
She only gave her friend the name
Because she had one too
Death
For it seemed to follow her wherever she'd go
She was four years old
When her brother died
Then her mother
And she was left to live with him
Him
Her father
The only thing she could think was
Why me
What did I ever do to deserve this
There is no God
For he couldn't have done this to me
At age seven she too ran away
A lifetime later she was a teen
And the two of us met
We stared into each others eyes and saw each other in them
We mirrored each other
In our pain
We were forgotten by many
For who would care about us
We soon grew apart
Trying to be the best
Because being lonely with people
Was better than being alone
By yourself
And even now
We are enemies
Even though we are like twins
With the same sad past
And open future

He
Was born to the wrong family
Who never wanted him
Yet he was there
And before he could even remember what was happening
They left him on the streets to die
Adopted by a loving family
Who hated him for being different
And never told him the truth
That he wasn't theirs
But still
He worked
And he cried when he looked at himself
Because he was different
And he didn't know why

The three of us met her
A girl who ran away
Because there was no more tears left to fill her dry eyes
Her red hair had been cut and pulled
And her heart torn
No one knew how she was still alive
But her face made everyone remember
Just barely
When she was young she grabbed a gun and tried to shoot herself
But all it lead to was a long talk
Why did you do it
No one cares
I care
Really
No, get over it
Her life was put in repeat
Until her blood drenched the ground
But people had the guts to help her
Even though she begged them to let her die
And get her way for once

But you see
No one cared
Because they had their own problems
The same thing was happening to them
Everyone
The popular kids surround by fake friends
Who were too busy agreeing with them
To hear what they were actually saying
Or the ones in the center of the room that no one sees
Until they just fade away

We all grew up the same
The four of us
And we all met up
There are people just like us
People who others pay to see
So they can laugh and be glad they aren't like that
The tent welcomes people
Freaks
Sideshow acts
With no where else to go
But they didn't meet up there to join
Instead they all thought to themselves
Why was it us
We were not chosen
Not that we know
We are just normal
We are normal
But people just choose to pick on us
Because they are glad that even though
They are like us
They aren't in our shoes

And they aren't alone
The four of them
Everyone feels that way inside
Like no one cares
Or no one listens
Because they don't
They're too busy with their own problems
Because that's just how the world is
We laugh at people
Because we don't want to have to be them
We don't want to be
A mistake

-Apple

Boredom

Have you ever sat on your bed
And just stared at the wall
Thinking
I should be doing something
I'm just wasting my time doing nothing
But you don't stop
Because even though you want to
You have nothing to do
Even though you have a pile of papers
And a messy room
And a cranky mother
You think there is nothing to do
You could ride your bike
Or take a hike
You could cook some chow
Or milk a cow
But you seem to have nothing to do
And no matter how hard you try
You just can't say goodbye
To the wall in front of you
It's not your fault
It's not you
Just blame boredom
Blame the creature inside if the fog
The fog that seems to follow you
When it's there
You don't want to go anywhere
Not the zoo
Nor Ikamazoo
There is no way to stop boredom
It just finds you
And forces you to stare at that wall
That blank wall with nothing on it
Nothing to interest you
Yet still you stare
You can't fight it
So why not join it
I know boredom is boring
With nothing ever to do
But to me that seems better
Than everything to do
And no time to do it
Just don't waste away
And become like boredom yourself
That's how he started
Just staring at the wall

-Apple