Worst Day Ever?

Today was the absolute worst day ever
And don’t try to convince me that
There’s something good in every day
Because, when you take a closer look,
This world is a pretty evil place.
Even if
Some goodness does shine through once in a while
Satisfaction and happiness don’t last.
And it’s not true that
It’s all in the mind and heart
Because
True happiness can be attained
Only if one’s surroundings are good
It’s not true that good exists
I’m sure you can agree that
The reality
Creates
My attitude
It’s all beyond my control
And you’ll never in a million years hear me say
Today was a very good day

Now read it from bottom to top, the other way,
And see what I really feel about my day.

-Chanie Gorkin

Random Autobiography

I of womankind and of fourteen years, will now begin to set down as full and frank a portrayal as I am able to myself, Allison Grace Russo, for when the world contains not a parallel.

I have dived into the cool lakes of Skaneateles.

I grew up with Ring Around a Rosy.

I am called Apple.

I was in three lockdowns during a single week.

I have felt the tight hairs of a llama.

I watched while the harsh winds blew down a tree.

I have lost an old pocket watch; one that no longer ticked.

I have walked the streets of Rome.

I love to read.

I remember traveling through Italy with a friend.

I held packaged toast in Naples.

I have seen the rubble left behind in Pompeii.

I am creative.

I have seen the lengths of the Grand Canyon.

I used to carry around a small bear; but now it is long gone.

I let a boa constrictor wrap around me as I fed him a mouse.

I want to be an archaeologist and stand in all seven continents.

I have held black sand from the beaches of Iwo Jima during war.

I have pet a tarantula.

I am unique because I am the only me that will ever be.

-Apple

An Accident

You knew

But never said

You tried

But I never listened

I never listened

Never heard

The softness in your breath

As you told me you loved me

And I pushed you away

Without the knowledge

Without foreseeing the accident

The ACCIDENT

It wasn’t his fault

Nothing was ever his fault

And life should have let him have that
The driver:

Drunk
The bottles:

Empty
My head:

In the clouds

My head also:

Not looking

Not looking to see the speeding car which came from nowhere

And his hands come in contact with me

Any other moment

ANY OTHER MOMENT

Blood would have rushed to my cheeks

But not then

Never then

Never when the sound of broken was filling my ears

Broken glass

Broken bones

Broken body

My eyes fill with tears
And I could hardly see as he began to drift away
His body in my arms as I try to hold him

Hold him

And keep him

He…

He said he didn’t want to go

He wanted to stay

He likes it here

And I couldn’t stand to see him suffer
The light inside him fading a little more
With every passing moment
But I could see it in his eyes
It’s like he wants to give in
It CAN be fought
But you have to WANT to win

You have to

You HAVE to

Because you aren’t just playing a game where if you lose

You get back up and go again

NO

If you lose you LOSE

Your light will fade

And he will never know that we need him
Oh God can you hear me
I have never asked for anything

Never diamonds nor gold

Never faith nor happiness
So would it be so wrong for me to ask just this once
I’m not asking for money
Nor popularity or even love
I’m simply asking you to help him fight

Because as I laid there beside him
I don’t think he could feel me
My arms wrapped around his crumpled body
Fingers running through his crimson hair
Speaking of the good times

Like when we played cards and he let me win

He would never admit it

But I knew

I knew there was an ace in his hand when he had called jack

And every single day was like this

Perfection was seeing his face

And knowing that even though an only child

I had a brother

I had a friend

I had him

And to never see him again

Was to never feel love and comfort
It was to die
Watching his every breath
Praying that each would hurt less than the last

Praying that each one would not BE his last

Then there it was…
I held his beautiful face

And kissed his cheek
And prayed he’d breathe again
Because in my heart

I wouldn’t admit that it was the end

Until I heard the sirens
It was too late

To look around and see the cemeteries so lonely

The graves full of soundless bones

And empty corpses

With no one to remember them

No one to love them

But that’s why I was there

Setting red roses

Your favorites

Next to the stone

Your stone

He gives to His beloved, sleep

-Apple

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