Monday, July 14, 2014

An Accident



You knew
But never said
You tried
But I never listened
I never listened
Never heard
The softness in your breath
As you told me you loved me
And I pushed you away
Without the knowledge
Without foreseeing the accident
The ACCIDENT
It wasn’t his fault
Nothing was ever his fault
And life should have let him have that
The driver:
Drunk
The bottles:
Empty
My head:
In the clouds
My head also:
Not looking
Not looking to see the speeding car which came from nowhere
And his hands come in contact with me
Any other moment
ANY OTHER MOMENT
Blood would have rushed to my cheeks
But not then
Never then
Never when the sound of broken was filling my ears
Broken glass
Broken bones
Broken body
My eyes fill with tears
And I could hardly see as he began to drift away
His body in my arms as I try to hold him
Hold him
And keep him
He…
He said he didn’t want to go
He wanted to stay
He likes it here
And I couldn’t stand to see him suffer
The light inside him fading a little more
With every passing moment
But I could see it in his eyes
It’s like he wants to give in
It CAN be fought
But you have to WANT to win
You have to
You HAVE to
Because you aren’t just playing a game where if you lose
You get back up and go again
NO
If you lose you LOSE
Your light will fade
And he will never know that we need him
Oh God can you hear me
I have never asked for anything
Never diamonds nor gold
Never faith nor happiness
So would it be so wrong for me to ask just this once
I’m not asking for money
Nor popularity or even love
I’m simply asking you to help him fight
Because as I laid there beside him
I don’t think he could feel me
My arms wrapped around his crumpled body
Fingers running through his crimson hair
Speaking of the good times
Like when we played cards and he let me win
He would never admit it
But I knew
I knew there was an ace in his hand when he had called jack
And every single day was like this
Perfection was seeing his face
And knowing that even though an only child
I had a brother
I had a friend
I had him
And to never see him again
Was to never feel love and comfort
It was to die
Watching his every breath
Praying that each would hurt less than the last
Praying that each one would not BE his last
Then there it was…
I held his beautiful face
And kissed his cheek
And prayed he’d breathe again
Because in my heart
I wouldn’t admit that it was the end
Until I heard the sirens
It was too late

To look around and see the cemeteries so lonely
The graves full of soundless bones
And empty corpses
With no one to remember them
No one to love them
But that’s why I was there
Setting red roses
Your favorites
Next to the stone
Your stone
He gives to His beloved, sleep

-Apple